Tag Archives: faith

High Hopes!

“Next time you’re found, with your chin on the ground
There’s a lot to be learned, so look around
Just what makes that little old ant
Think he’ll move that rubber tree plant
Anyone knows an ant, can’t
Move a rubber tree plant”

My hopes haven’t always been high.

I’ve always been a “realist” even as I prayed to God for the miracles I sought. It is only in the past four or five years that I realized I wasn’t setting my “hopes” even remotely high enough.

As I began to see how God was using my son Lan to not only show me what He could do and would do for me, God also taught me to get my hopes up!

One small victory after another made me realize that I didn’t have to have the weight of the world on my shoulders. I somehow managed to let God be God and relax a little and truly trust God for the things I prayed for.

It has been my general experience that God responds to my level of expectation. The things I dare hope and dream for He brings (slowly) to fruition if I hope hard enough and trust that He can and He will.

Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom also we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God.  And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope. Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us. Romans 5:1-5 NKJV

 Hope does not disappoint.

I would rather hope for the best and be proven wrong than wallow in misery faithless.

Yes, there are things I will never understand. Yet, I cannot allow life’s disappointments to rob me of God’s peace when I choose to trust in Him.

Lan is asserting his independence more and more. He has “high hopes” for his future. If I tell him something’s not going to happen he just gives me “the look” learned from big brother that basically says I hear you but I’m not listening to a thing you say.

And that’s not always a bad thing.

I believe my past failures to hope as high as God would have me to do stem from listening to people instead of listening to God. If we are so tuned in to the multitude of “nos” coming from the choir, we will never hear God’s whispered “yes.”

Lan has confidence I never had at his age, partly because he had to work extremely hard to meet his goals. He learned far sooner than I ever did to tune out the “no.”

 I’m grateful to have come to a point where I can persevere and hope for God’s best fully aware that His best isn’t always what I want.

Hope does not disappoint.

“But he’s got high hopes, he’s got high hopes
He’s got high apple pie, in the sky hopes
So any time you’re gettin’ low
‘Stead of lettin’ go
Just remember that ant
Oops there goes another rubber tree plant”

 

**Songwriters: J. VAN HEUSEN, S. CAHN  High Hopes lyrics © BARTON MUSIC CORPORATION

B is for Blessed!

“Next time you’re found, with your chin on the ground
There’s a lot to be learned, so look around
Just what makes that little old ant
Think he’ll move that rubber tree plant
Anyone knows an ant, can’t
Move a rubber tree plant”

My hopes haven’t always been high.

I’ve always been a “realist” even as I prayed to God for the miracles I sought. It is only in the past four or five years that I realized I wasn’t setting my “hopes” even remotely high enough.

As I began to see how God was using my son Lan to not only show me what He could do and would do for me, God also taught me to get my hopes up!

One small victory after another made me realize that I didn’t have to have the weight of the world on my shoulders. I somehow managed to let God…

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Decisions! Decisions!

Who, then, are those who fear the Lord?
    He will instruct them in the ways they should choose. Psalm 25:12 NIV

 

Through the years we have come to crossroads where we had to make tough decisions.

When I began this blog Lan’s freshman year of high school, we decided that he would not attend the school he was zoned for.

He was devastated.

Still, he will graduate in two weeks with most of his friendships intact.

We had to decided private school or public?

We had to decide for and against extracurricular activities.

A four-year college or tech school? Lan’s desire to become a computer animator didn’t help matters either.

It seems there wasn’t a week that went by where we didn’t have to decide something…

Such is the season of raising a kids.

It took long enough, but I finally got over my fear of making a wrong decision. I’ve come to learn that God can make even my failures work out in the end.

One of the reasons I hadn’t posted lately was due my mother’s illness.  You can read about that trial here. The last thing Mommy asked me was if I had completed everything necessary for Lan to attend a school that offered him a scholarship.

She had already given her opinion about one school during her illness. It was a great school, but not so great for social growth. I think Mommy approved of our final choice because she passed away not long after.

I believe she decided that Lan would be just fine.

He always said he was moving to Orlando when he grew up. We just laughed it off.

Guess who’s laughing now?

It is probably without a doubt the hardest decision we have made.

When College Decision Day was celebrated at his school, Lan wore his Full Sail University t-shirt. All the college and military bound kids represented their various schools. It was quite the event, pep rally and all!

Sometimes we must decide to take chances when everyone else thinks we’re crazy. If we are ever to reach the heights God has for us, we must decide to be faith filled and fearless. Every hero in the Bible rose to greatness based on the choices he or she made.

Abraham chose to be obedient.

David chose to fight.

Ruth chose compassion.

Each of them was rewarded for following God instead of doing what everyone else in their situation probably would have done.

God calls us to choose.

We’ve decided that autism will not defeat us.

Lan decided that he will excel.

Autism may dictate some of our choices but it doesn’t have to prevent us from pushing through our
obstacles.


Choose to believe and trust God.

I promise, He will amaze you and you’ll be glad you did…

A Season of Thanks…

The leaves where I live are now just turning vibrant and crisp.

Unlike the seasons, we can’t always predict what twists or turns we are going to have in life. Some of us with the best laid plans think we know what tomorrow will bring, but in reality we never know until that new day dawns.

I can anticipate that those trees will turn colors and loose leaves only to grown green and flourish in the spring. With my child, that pattern of familiarity was often lacking. We have spurts of great growth or gains, and then sometimes things cool off and go dormant. I always pray and hope for God’s best.

Uncertainty could keep me anxious, depressed and nervous. I admit it has done that before.

However, I choose to hope in things unseen and have faith in a God I can’t always see or hear, Who at times has been silent when I’ve called out, but Who has never once left my side.

“To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven,” Ecclesiastes 3:1 NKJV

I don’t always know just what season I am in.

I once thought I was in a season of growth only to be cut down to the ground. I’ve also been at my lowest and right on time, an unexpected miracle reminded me that God is ever with me.

I choose to be grateful for gains made and milestones achieved in this season of Thanksgiving. I am grateful for Lan’s great attitude. His “why not?” has kept him moving right along to his own rhythm and time but ever still moving!

a-season-of-thanks-god-autism-and-me-2-112016-devotionalI am grateful that autism has not overcome us.

It’s knocked us around a couple of times but we learned to fight back!

I may not be grateful for every experience I’ve had in life, but I am very grateful for everything I’ve learned from them.

God deals with each of us in ways as unique as we are.

I’m grateful for that too.

Knowing that God will get me through whatever season I am in allows me to face tomorrow not in fear but with a faith that whatever I need, God is more than enough!

Whatever your circumstance, give thanks for gains made and blessings yet to come.

Allow gratitude to define your attitude!

Enjoy a Very Blessed Thanksgiving!!

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind,”
2 Timothy 1:7 NKJV

“In everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you,”
1 Thessalonians 5:18 NKJV

May Daze!

The month of May is typically a whirlwind in our home. Our go, go, go schedule is usually augmented by celebrating Mother’s Day, a birthday, end of school activities in addition to Memorial Day.

Added to that list this year is a graduation.

In just a few days when my oldest graduates high school, the inspiration for this blog will become a senior.

And Lan is counting down the days!

Milestones like graduation make me pause and reflect.

This one is no exception.

I began this blog the start of Lan’s freshman year filled with fear and a host of other emotions.

The larger campus, louder kids and usual chaos of high school was challenging for him to say the least.

God autism and me May Daze 4 5-2016My little grasshopper who had to wait for halls to clear before leaving class now stands quite tall and maneuvers the masses with ease.

Freshman year was grueling but we made it.

Sophomore year proved he could be an honor student.

Junior year stretched him with marching band but Lan achieved his goal while maintaining good grades.

We had more than one hiccup or two, but they were readily resolved.

Bullies.

Incorrect class assignments.

Working out that IEP!

Still, there were far more blessings along the way.

Great principals.

Angels in the guise of school counselors.

Teachers that dared to pull out the best in him.

Classmates that cared.

Parents who had my back!

I can’t tell you the time or date but somewhere in these last three years Lan began easing out of his shell.

I am dazed amazed thinking about where he is now compared to where he once was!

This is a kid who struggled, really struggled, in elementary and middle school but is now an honor student.

I no longer cry fearful for his future. My trust in God has never been stronger.

I would never tell anyone to just dismiss the “experts” but I most definitely will say listen to God first and foremost!

Nothing is impossible with God.

God’s miracles correlate to the measure of our faith.

When things looked hopeless, God made a way.

May Daze 2 God autism and me 5-2016 devotionalNo longer in a fog and gripped with fear, these three things are crystal clear…

God’s faithfulness is unfailing.

The things that felt like they were squeezing the life out of me were actually molding me for the better.

I don’t need all the answers to enjoy this life. With God I am equipped for whatever comes my way even when I feel inadequate.

If you are feeling hopeless about the special needs person in your life, don’t.

We don’t always know what the future may hold but we most definitely know Who holds the future…

 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. 

Romans 15:13 NIV

Be Aware!

April is National Autism Awareness Month.

Some would say awareness is great and all but there isn’t anything the average person can do about it.

I beg to differ.

If you have a loved one with any special needs this advice isn’t new to you. However, you may want to share these tips with more than a few well-meaning people you know. One person can make a difference…

If you can’t say anything nice, etc., etc.

Comments like “I don’t understand why that kid is crying,” or “they need to do something with that kid,” are unnecessary and can be very hurtful. Your casual observation about a situation “you know nothing about” can be the salt in a wound of someone barely holding on. Your off the cuff remark while standing in line at the grocery store cuts to the core.

Instead, offer a smile or a nod that indicates it’s not the end of the world instead of frowning in disapproval. That gesture can mean the world to someone who wants that meltdown to end more than you do. Even better, allow that person to check out ahead of you so the parent can tend to that child.

Money is good but time is priceless.

Offer to babysit for that parent, especially that single parent who has no one to help them. There is no need to panic fearing they will leave you helpless with their child. An offer of a couple of hours during nap time or in the evening can provide that parent (or grandparent) time to think, get a coffee or effortlessly run to the store. These are things most of us easily do and take for granted.

God autism and me Be Aware devotional 2 4-2016Don’t compare.

Everything doesn’t work for everybody. I’ve yet to meet many parents who have left any stone unturned trying to find the best therapy for their child. Most parents are already under a lot of stress.  A special needs child can amplify that. Don’t suggest the parent isn’t doing all he or she can possibly do.

Just. Don’t.

Random acts of kindness are always appreciated.

A call or a text can do wonders for someone who may very well feel isolated and alone. A gift card for dinner or a coffee are good too. Something small to you can be the greatest blessing. If in doubt, ask God what you can do. I’m quite confident you will receive an answer!

Be inclusive.

Instead of worrying that a child may disrupt your plans for the “perfect”birthday party, think about how inviting that child can be a blessing.

A lot of kids with neurological disorders get left out because parents just don’t know what to expect. I’ve found kids tend to be a lot more accepting than adults.

I challenge you to ask.

Simply asking if a child might enjoy attending lets that family know you are thinking of them. Even if the child can’t attend, the parents will appreciate the gesture. I’ve watched firsthand how one child feels as his sibling go off with other kids.

Hardly a comprehensive list, but at least a few points to think about.

I’ve learned a lot on this journey with autism.

I used to be that lady standing in the grocery line wondering “why is that kid screaming?”

autism awareness month 2 2016Now, I know.

And for that I am very grateful.

If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. James 1:5 NKJV

College Search!

We have been busy in our household helping our senior with his college applications. Lan has been quite interested himself in the application process. He stated, “When you’re done with him then we can get started on me.”

I easily recall wondering if this kid would be able to graduate high school. Now, these many years later, he is thinking about college.

Lan has always struggled in school. Though very bright, he can’t always verbalize what he knows. Years ago, when people would ask about possible plans for the future, a wave of dread would come over me. Now, I’m just waiting to see what happens next.

I learned from a close friend who happens to be a college professor that more and more colleges are incorporating transition programs and assistance for people with learning and developmental disabilities. I did a bit of research and actually found a few. Yet, many of the programs were in the Northeast part of the country. We live in the southeast. The idea of just sending my “baby” twelve or more hours away doesn’t sit well.

I eventually stopped worrying about it and decided God will make a way.

STAND TALL blessed devotional 10-2015Well, last night I came upon this article, “Students with special needs get own program at University of Georgia.” 

Now UGA is only about forty-five minutes from me. The article also mentions another school with a similar program that is only an hour away. It looks like there is a realistic pathway for Lan to “go off to college,” after all.

Years ago I never imagined the programs now available in higher education for kids like mine.

But God knew.

Sometimes when we are overwhelmed and it looks like situations are hopeless we must trust God for the answer.

I’m learning this more and more as Lan tackles things that were once impossible. The leaps and gains he has made have been miraculous. I suspect the progress made would never have come about if we held on to every negative word spoken over us.

I stopped looking at the statistics and looked for God to make a way.

A poor progress report can no longer push me into a state of panic. I keep telling Lan he is smart and can do whatever is required.  I truly believe Lan does better because we expect better.

What if that same principle applies to God?

I’m not sure what the future holds but I’m holding fast to God and expecting great things.

How about you?

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Hebrews 11:1 NKJV

But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him. Hebrews 11:6 NKJV

Take A Break!

Even busy bees need a break.

Take a break featured photo 2 God autism and me 10-2015 devotionalI found this bee napping in my flower pot. He was very much alive, just resting.

We had a chance to rest this past week as my kids enjoyed their Fall Break. And I must admit, I enjoyed it too!

The break relieved me and my husband from our normal sleuthing duties of determining if there is homework, has the homework been done, and you have how many exams this week?!

There was no morning rush to get out of the house on time and with everything essential.

Staying up late to finish homework?  Didn’t miss that either. Band practices that linger into the night?

Pleasantly absent.

Lan enjoyed his “vacation.” He could always study more for sure but at a certain point enough is enough.

The progress report he will receive upon returning to school Tuesday isn’t half bad. It’s not exceptional, but at this point “not bad” is great!

You see, this is a year to“stretch” for Landon. He is accountable for much more such as harder classes, band competitions, the practices that go with them, in addition to those other things we are trying to impart in him to make him more mature and self-reliant.

As he watches his older brother prepare college applications, Lan is increasingly giving thought to his future. He has made it very clear on many occasions he doesn’t plan on living with me and my husband.

We’ve told him that goal will take maturity, growth and much effort on his part. His response has been to act more mature and look at a larger picture he’s never bothered to view before. Trying to get him to this goal has put us all in a whirlwind it seems.

Yet, sometimes when so much is required of us and it feels like everything is swirling around in every direction, the only way to get on top is to stop.

Stop running.

Stop worrying.

Stop relying solely on our own abilities.

We can’t continuously go, go, go if we don’t take time to recoup and recharge.

We often push our loved ones so they can do more and be more but those efforts must be balanced.

BALANCING ACT BLESSED DEVOTIONAL 9-2015There have been times in my life were I wasn’t balanced at all. My sense of urgency didn’t move Lan any farther ahead. In fact, it was when I finally relinquished the control I “thought” I had that we both made huge gains for the better.

So if you haven’t been given a break, take one.

When our final days do come, I doubt any of us will wish we spent more time running around like crazy people trying to meet arbitrary goals dictated by people we will never meet.

Instead, take time to appreciate the color of fall leaves.

Live in moments of laughter.

Cast your cares.

Be still.

Rest.

Follow God’s example. If He took time to rest, we should too!

And on the seventh day God ended His work which He had done, and He rested on the seventh day from all His work which He had done. Genesis 2:2 NKJV