Patience is one of those things I used to pray for.
My journey along the autism spectrum definitely tried my patience.
That first diagnosis of pervasive non-developmental disorder exacerbated my lack of patience. When my two-year-old wasn’t developing quite as he should, the psychiatrist’s verdict was wait and see.
Wait and see!?
I didn’t handle that very well.
My compulsion and desperation to “fix” things left me frustrated and anxious.
Trying to juggle our autism purgatory in the midst of everything else going on at the time stripped me of what little patience I did have.
I loved my family, yet my ever growing impatience shortchanged my efforts to show the love choked inside of me.
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.” I Corinthians 13:4 NIV
I was neither patient nor kind.
I envied those who didn’t have my particular menagerie of issues, issues that sprang up rather suddenly and without warning.
Yet, God in His mercy made me stronger by forcing me through my fires and leaving me little choice but to learn patience.
Lesson after lesson.
I slowly stopped allowing circumstances to hold me hostage. I eventually learned to stop working toward happiness and to instead relax a little and receive God’s joy.
Time spent waiting for my miracles taught me every situation can be viewed any number of ways. I also learned there are always circumstances we are oblivious of when we are oh so quick to judge others.
Eventually, empathy and compassion grew in me as well.
It was not easy getting to this point.
Neither was it quick.
As our Father is patient with me, I know I should exhibit this trait toward others.
I am not always successful.
But, at least now, I try.
I am learning to recognize my own limitations and allow room for God to do the rest.
In His timing.
Patience keeps us from allowing the unexpected to knock us down and out.
Patience allows us to praise God for the smallest of blessings despite the bigger picture…
My journey along this autism adventure forces me to take a hard look at myself.
I don’t always like what I see.
Love is patient. Love is kind.
Hopefully, I can become these things as well…
My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. James 1:2-4 NKJV