“Don’t let something in the past trip you up!”
I read those words on a church sign driving home last night. Not scripture, but wise words nonetheless.
Sometimes we can allow a loss to make us lose sight of all we have gained.
At other times we would do well to change things up a bit and break away from the familiar and open ourselves up to something fresh and new.
Just because something was, doesn’t mean it always will be.
“Weeping may endure for a night,
But joy comes in the morning.” Psalm 30:5 NKJV
In the past, I was plagued with fear. Much of that concerned Lan’s future. He always struggled in school. The constant struggle was something I’d become accustomed to.
This year, through hard work and lots of prayer, has been different.
Yet, I found some old mindsets could still creep in. Doubt. Uncertainty.
I could become fixated on old struggles of just scraping by to earn the required credits.
Freshman biology with the toughest teacher in the school was a struggle. It is still fresh in my mind.
When I met with his guidance counselor last week, I was informed that chemistry was designated as his science for next year when Lan will be a junior.
Instead of looking forward, I was momentarily caught in the anxiety of the past. Lan’s study habits and grades have vastly improved. Yet, chemistry is unforgiving. It is absolute. Abstract.
I asked, solemnly, “Is chemistry required to graduate?”
The counselor’s answer was “No.”
Freshman biology and the physical science Lan is currently taking will suffice for his “required” sciences. He can finish high school taking zoology and anatomy both of which will also help him with graphic design.
If I hadn’t asked, next year could have been very frustrating.
In the past, I wouldn’t have thought to ask if there was an alternative. I would have just accepted the status quo. And struggled.
“you do not have because you do not ask,” James 4:2 NKJV
Sometimes instead of allowing our experiences to make us wiser, we can allow them to encase us in fear. Fear paralyzes. It doesn’t allow us to look forward toward a positive future. 
Now, I’m motivated to explore opportunities as the nation slowly realizes there is a vast need for resources and alternatives in higher education.
One friend who is a university professor informed me there are individualized education programs for college students with special needs. Accommodations for people on the spectrum are increasing.
Instead of my “ideas” about the future, I am learning to trust God and allow Him to reveal His plan for Lan moment by moment.
This isn’t easy for me, but most things that are best for us are never easy. Or quickly revealed.
They require faith.
And in my case, the ability to leave past disappointments, struggles and preconceived notions behind me.
“Face forward.” That’s what Lan said to me last week. Not exactly scripture, but wise words nonetheless.
“Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me. Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 3:12-14 NKJV
GOD, autism and me 
Hi, I tried to leave a comment here before. It wanted me to log back in and leave a password. Unfortunately I had forgotten my password and the comment was lost. As usual I wanted to comment on the photography. The colours are so fresh and vibrant and both the cat and the flowers look fully alive. The comments I wanted to touch on are: “I am learning to trust God and allow Him to reveal His plan for Lan moment by moment.This isn’t easy for me, but most things that are best for us are never easy. Or quickly revealed.” I agree with you. I have had to trust God moment by moment and often it is only revealed as I am going along, taking one baby step at a time.” I love those words of Lan “Face forward”. He sounds amazing to have worked this out for himself. I had the opportunity of reading “When Fraser met Billy” and you and your son came to mind a lot. I am aware that every child with autism is affected differently as God makes us all so unique. I wonder if it would ring any bells with you. I hope it gave me some understanding. I found it a beautiful story and so very touching about the boy and his cat. Love and best wishes. Julia
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Oh Julia,
Thanks for taking time to comment.
It is very much a “moment by moment” process for me. Lan has the ability to give uncanny insight into various situations. For him lots of things are simple and to the point whereas I believe I become lost in unnecessary layers!
My photography has become “phototherapy” for me. When I take the time to stop and be still, truly look at what God has created through a lens I see and hear so much more of what our Father says to me. A simple Christmas gift from my mother (the camera) has opened me up to so much more.
You’ve given me the idea to read “When Frasier met Billy” and kind of “review” it on the autism blog and compare it to my own experiences. I think it may strike a chord with other families who may benefit from a pet and the benefits one can bring to someone on the spectrum.
Peace and love to you! Lilka
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We do indeed press on my friend. I only wish that my daughter had had the support when she left education at 18. The last four years have been so challenging for her as she has barely left the house, letting everything go, yet she is so intellligent, vibrant, talented and wonderful. She has her blogs and writing and art and family love and support so for that I am most grateful. But I do fear for her future, I admit. I pray that this does not happen to Lan. I pray that change will come for my daughter, as and when she can cope and is ready. Oh how I pray. And keep looking forward for that prize. Bless you my friend…beautiful post and love the photo of your sweet little kitty 🙂
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“This isn’t easy for me, but most things that are best for us are never easy. Or quickly revealed.
They require faith.” Yes–much faith.
Face forward..I like that. And yes, wise words from Lan. I have a child whose autistic taking my karate classes. Her autism isn’t severe but I do relate to and teach her differently. She is a ‘doll’..just the sweetest.
Have a good weekend.
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Lan’s isn’t severe either. Someone who just glances at him would never know it until they speak to him for a longer period of time. Karate was actually very instrumental in pulling him out of his old “bubble” and prompting him to socialize with others. Enjoy a great Valentine’s weekend 🙂
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