Yesterday, my youngest who inspired this blog, was promptly deposited two hours away at Clemson University for a week of summer camp! This particular camp caters to kids on the spectrum giving them an opportunity to swim, fish, and enjoy all the beauty Lake Hartwell has to offer.
It was only a year ago when we were picking up my oldest from a university campus, that Lan asked “when will I get to go away to camp?”
“Ain’t gonna happen,” was the only thought that came to mind but I did manage to say, “when you are mature enough to go.”
Fast forward nine months and my husband finally found a camp that I did not have nightmares about counselors losing my child! After speaking to the coordinator in the spring, Lan did a “trial” weekend visit in March and had a grand time. His eagerness to go off on his own without an over-protective mother watching over him wasn’t lost on any of us.
His eagerness had not waned three months later as he bid my husband a hasty goodbye yesterday. I think the hubby was a bit wounded by Lan’s eagerness to see him leave!
All of this makes me remember just how far we’ve come from the three-year old that hid behind me as we walked into a grocery store. Lan is more and more eager to test the waters. He is less wary of strangers in social situations, more apt to say “hi!” He is definitely more willing to join in the fun.
My niece had her sweet sixteen party last month and I wondered if Lan would be sitting there bored all night and asking when he could go home. To our surprise Landon danced the entire night! When my husband called him over to sit for a minute, the other kids pulled him back on the floor. The best part of it was he had a wonderful time mingling, dancing and just being himself.
Having turned fifteen in May, we are seeing more and more of this independence break through. His fears are being replaced with a desire for freedom to find himself and not rely on us dictating his every move.
This also means I’ve got to let go more and allow him to try more, succeed or fail, if he is ever going to grow into the young man I have faith he can become.
I told him this week was an opportunity for him to prove how mature he is. Lan seemed up to the challenge. I think back on prayers answered slowly and oh so subtly.
And yes there have been those “high moments” like that sigh of relief when notified he did pass all of his classes this first year of high school. But some of the greatest miracles have been quiet. And still.
Those things like responsibility and initiative that we’ve harped on for years, we find that they’ve slowly…appeared.
Landon’s independence is the ultimate goal. I would so like to think that he will be just fine on his own when I’m no longer around to watch over him. I’d like to think that his older brother will not have to take on the role of the “other parent,” years from now.
We’ve prayed and God has answered our prayers. My faith holds fast that my Father will answer many more.
So the next time Lan asks me when something is going to happen, I’ll do well to remember that with God anything can happen!
And for that I am grateful.
“Jesus said unto him, if thou canst believe, all things [are] possible to him that believeth.” Mark 9:23 KJV