“Come to Me all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and My burden light.” Matthew 11:28-30 NKJV
In my struggle to relinquish my control freak tendencies, I rely on this scripture time and time again. I learned that I don’t have to conquer my corner of the world in my power.
There was a time in my life where I was working very hard to give my children all my attention. I worked long hours. Then on my days off would I try to cram days of lessons in with Lan, never wanting him to fall behind his peers.
These efforts only brought forth fatigue on my part and frustration on his. When I was at a point when I could no longer do this, a funny thing happened. Lan’s grades improved.
I had no choice but to trust God. I didn’t have the time to prep Lan for those standardized tests. All those practice books went unused. I was at the mercy of his teachers to give him everything he would need.
I was tired. My job was wearing me out. I was trying to balance the needs of two kids who are polar opposites. I was attempting to be a real life “wonder woman” meeting unrealistic expectations I had imposed on myself.
Finally at this point of burn out, I stopped struggling so much and gave it a rest. I prayed more and worked less. I found the more I trusted God, the more He did for me.
When I finally stopped running myself ragged and was still, I could hear Him.
I found comfort in the fact that I really don’t have to know it all.
When I don’t have an answer, I now trust God first. Whatever I need will find me.
It wasn’t the quickest transformation, but I don’t want to revert back to where I was.
Casting my cares has been liberating. I am sometimes amused, wondering just how God is going to work certain things out.